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  • Shreya Buttan

Anger can be managed with the right tools!

Updated: Apr 17, 2023


We all understand what anger is and have experienced it at some point, whether it was a little annoyance or a full-blown rage. Anger is an entirely normal and generally a healthy emotional state. But when it spirals out of control and becomes destructive, it can cause issues—issues at work, issues in your personal relationships, issues with your life's general quality. The American Psychological Association defines anger as "an emotion marked by antagonistic feelings toward someone or something you feel has deliberately wronged you."

Events both internal and external might trigger anger. Your anger may be motivated by fretting or brooding about your personal issues, or it may be directed toward a particular person or circumstance (such as your parents or co-workers) or occurrence (such as a heavy traffic or a delayed train). Anger can also be sparked by memories of upsetting or painful experiences. Responding aggressively is the automatic, natural manner that anger is expressed. Anger is a healthy, adaptive reaction to danger; it elicits strong emotions and actions that provide us the ability to fight and defend ourselves in the event of an assault. Therefore, some level of anger is essential for our survival. On the other hand, laws, societal norms and standards, impose boundaries on how far our rage can lead us. As a result, we can't physically lash out at every person or thing that frustrates or annoys us.


How to deal with Anger management issues?

The objective of anger management is to lessen the physiological stimulation that anger creates as well as your emotional feelings. You cannot alter, ignore, or get rid of the things or people who anger you, but you can help to manage your responses. A research revealed that effective anger management can substantially reduce anger, aggression and increase social adjustment in 12-15 year old children.


Some Strategies to manage anger and keep it at bay:

1. Practicing relaxation exercises

Simple relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness, can help reduce angry feelings. These techniques and exercises will help you maintain calm and express anger in a less aggressive manner.

People who are angry often make snap judgments, and some of those judgments can be terribly inaccurate. If you find yourself in a heated argument, take a moment to compose yourself before responding. Slow down and give your words some thought rather than speaking the first thing that comes to mind. Take your time before responding while paying close attention to what the other person is saying. It's simple to say something you'll later regret when you're under the influence of emotion. Before speaking, pause for a moment to gather your thoughts. Criticizing or blaming others could only make things more tense. Instead, characterise the issue using "I" sentences. Be considerate and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left me with all the work to do even when it was a group project" instead of "You never put any effort or do any work."


3. To ease stress, use humour.

Humour can assist reduce tension. Use humour to help you confront the things that are upsetting you and, maybe, any irrational expectations you may have about how things should turn out. Though it might hurt sentiments and worsen situations, avoid using sarcasm.


Some further suggestions for calming oneself down:

  • Avoid the trigger: If something, some person or situation makes you angry every time avoid it. Avoid forcing yourself to look or deal with something that frustrates you.

  • Seeking alternatives for the situations that cause you anger, frustration or rage.

  • Seek help if needed

It can be difficult to learn how to control your anger at times. At The Social Therapist we have a team of verified and qualified therapists to help you with your anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.



Author: Shreya Buttan || Intern @The Social Therapist

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